Shit ‘Spro at The F**k Factory

I am absolutely obsessed with HBO's Succession.

I probably dropped hints of that when I wrote the inaugural Welcome To My Playlist feature on Culture Cartel and just HAD to include Pusha T's excellent remix of Nicholas Brittell's theme on my Spotify curation.

The game of thrones machinations of a dysfunctional sociopathic family/media conglomerate already makes for pretty compelling drama but what really makes this series the apex predator cocaine of Class A dopamine TV is the hilarious sassy dialogue and the dynamics of the Roy siblings.

Naturally as a coffee nerd, i asked myself a question that nobody else in the world cares about;

What if the Roy children were coffee origins?

I imagine Kendall Roy as one of those experimental processed Colombian coffees and he’d be very comfortable with words like “bio-innovation” used to describe him. He will display loads of hype and promise but ultimately his flavour profile still remains disappointingly predictable.


The  impish Roman (my favourite character by the way) would most likely be a natural Kenyan; a little fruity cheekiness, sparkly and can be sweet when he wants to be but what can be hard to tame & dial in when it decides to be problematic.


Siobhan (Shiv) Roy is most likely the La Hacienda Esmeralda geisha - well regarded, polished and definitely passes the coffee pedigree test. The only problem is that it does have a tendency to overrate itself and thinks it's better than what it actually is.


 Connor Roy is the human Kopi Luwak. 'Nuff said.

So there it is; a coffee blog post crossed with Succession that nobody asked for but we're giving it to you because we do what we want.

Anyway here's the Pusha T remix to the Succession theme because it is way too freakin' dope: